Utah Man Drives Lemon Through Dealership Window and Half the Town Lines Up to Post His Bail
By Fionn mac Cunhaill
Hours after a Utah man realizes the used vehicle he just purchased had severe mechanical issues he returned to the dealership for a refund. They said, “no.” He said, “Ok.” And the drove the hunk of junk through the dealership’s front window.
We asked the dealership about this issue and the events that transpired.
“Hell yeah we sold him that lemon. He was stupid enough to buy it. We sell lemons to people all the time for way more than they are worth. We do it because we are crooks and it is totally legal, man.”
“It doesn’t bother you that car dealerships get over 100,000 complaints filed with the FTC each year for bad business practices, and, according to Forbes, hundreds of thousands more through state and local consumer protection groups by unhappy customers?”
“No. And what good do those complaints do? Huh? I still make bank, buddy, hand over fist. Complaints and all.”
“You’re a piece of work.”
“I got a hot woman at home too. I bet she’s hotter than yours.”
“Geezus.”
“Listen, ai gotta get back to work. This money doesn’t grow on trees, unless their lemons. Haha!”
I had my fill of car dealers.
After the crash, the 35-year old driver was arrested and charged with felony criminal mischief (property damage) and misdemeanor reckless endangerment.
In a remarkable scene, half the town lined up outside the jail to post his bail.
“Car dealers are the shadiest, most unethical bunch of bastards that God has ever let live on this earth. What that man did is what anyone who has ever bought a car has dreamt of doing,” a member if the community in line, said.
As I was leaving the dealership earlier, the general manager, a large portly man with obvious hypertension, stood on the side walk shouting, “We are not at fault here. He signed on the dotted line! Do you hear what I am saying to you? Do you hear me?!”
I didn’t bother acknowledging him. I figured someday, his time would come. The devil gets his due, eventually.