Russian Drone Steals Fruit From Ukrainian Street Vendor

By Fionn mac Cumhaill

A Russian drone was seen swooping down and stealing fruit from a Ukrainian street vendor. When his wife went after it with a broom the drone blew up the stand leaving a crater the size of a rocket smashing into the moon.

The Ukraine government demanded payment for the fruit or they would send their entire army into Russia, kamikaze style. “We will burn the country to the ground!”

“So that’s what it takes?” A high-ranking member of the U.S. government said. “See if we can’t get the Iranians to steal some fruit.”

The odds that the Ukraine vs. Russia war will stretch 30 years is 5-1 on Kalishi.

Six Russian soldiers were given lifetime bans from participating in the military for betting against their own team. As of this morning, 2 million new bets have been placed.