Robbie Williams Moves out of Mansion- Leaves 60-Foot Robot Behind

By Fionn mac Cumhaill

Pop singer, Robbie Williams, recently moved. But he didn’t take everything with him. Like many popstars, Robbie has too much money and doesn’t know what to do with it all.

So, instead of doing something rational like buying 875 (possibly an exaggerated number) Papa John’s franchises like Shaq, or constructing a 2-story pink dog mansion like Paris Hilton, Williams had a custom, $20 million, 60-foot (not exaggerated) robot built in his yard. But this is no ordinary 6-story mechanical behemoth.

It is, as his neighbors describe it, “a nekked one,” who every morning at dawn, is automatically turned on by way of a timer, stands up, leans over and moons them, while looking back at them with a sleazy grin. The neighbors say that it is starting to “creep us out.”

After Williams left the mansion, he abandoned the robot. This pissed Bezos off who wanted to file charges of neglect against him for mistreatment of a robot, but his lawyer gawked and convinced him it would make for unsettling press. For now, the neighbors just have to wait and hope the next residents dispose of the cretin with prejudice.