Conversation with an MLB “Exec” - Blacked out of the Yankees vs. Braves Game, Aug 7, 2026

By Fionn mac Cumhaill

August 7, 2026. Yankees in Atlanta to play the Braves. I picked up dinner and a couple beers, clicked onto MLB Network to tune into the game.

Blacked out. Again. Braves games I have learned are only streamed in China, not in the US. As you can imagine, this ticked me off and I decided to contact the Chief of Baseball Operations. I’ve complained to MLB Network before but they just blame the MLB for the sleazy new streaming rules.

So I decided to call them. It took about 45 minutes of jumping through hoops, but I finally got the 2nd assistant to the Chief of Baseball Operations on the phone. His name was Sterile.

“Sterile, thank you for talking with us. As you know I am very disgruntled.”

“I am sorry to hear that, we all wish it wasn’t like this for the poorer fans. But what can I say? You know?”

“Excuse me?” I said. I thought I misheard him.

“Listen, Pal. Baseball is a business. Cha-ching. We are thankful there are fans. But we provide a service and you get entertained. And frankly, and don’t take this the wrong way, you are just revenue. If nit you someone else will come along. Copish? I mean, if we could we’d have robots out there playing, we would. I mean shit, imagine if that ever happens? I will buy a mansion on Miami Beach.

“Whoa,” Jennie Cho, a Lampoon intern said.

“Jesus. Sterile, you are already losing fans,” I said.

“Casual fans. And we are ok with that, because we are focused on the short-term profit. Us, executives, aren’t planning on working forever. Ya see?”

“You’re an executive?” Jennie said. Her confusion matching all of ours listening in on the call.

“Think about it like this. Nowadays, when you go to a restaurant, they no longer put bread on the table. The reason is because they realized it saves them money not to. People griped for a while, but eventually, they accepted it. The new baseball-watching experience will be the same.”

“That’s bad business, bordering on crooked,” I said.

“Nah. It is what it is brother. Take the blows, get back up.”

“What?”

“We got a little competition going here in the industry, the execs I mean. You are vying to see who can get the best slip at the Tiburon yacht club.”

“California?”

“Yeah, man. Have you never sailed on the bay? It’s better than sex, bro.”

“Bro?”

“Listen, it was good talking to you. I gotta jam. Dinner res to make. Keep your head up.” With that he hung up.

The level of greed today is at unprecedented levels. It would make both Caligula and Nero blush.