Woman Sues Yankees for $10 Million After Being Hit By an Errant Bat

By Fionn mac Cumhaill

A “healthcare executive” i.e. socialist activist, claims she suffered a traumatic brain injury after being hit by an errant Birddog, I mean baseball bat swung, and released, by Cleveland Guardian, Jose Ramirez, which sailed into the crowd, striking the accused in the head..

She argues she was hit senseless by the bat, knocked to the ground violently, and now has cognitive impairments when before she was fine. Her voting history suggests otherwise.

We reached out for a comment from the Yankees legal department who responded in turn, “NUTS!”

Her lawsuit will be a tough one considering the age-old baseball rule, If you come to a game, pay attention! She obviously wasn’t. It is expected this case will last all of 45 seconds in court, if it even gets that far.

What next, every time their is a foul ball the team gets sued? Real baseball fans, who sit in the real seats and buy their own tickets, are calling for her to be banned for life. Insiders claim she was out seen house hunting.