Raleigh North Carolina Proposes MLB Expansion Team to the City to Distract People from the Belichicks
By Fionn mac Cumhaill
The Commissioner of the MLB has said he wants to get the ball rolling on the creation of two expansion teams before his scheduled retirement in 2029; one East coast team and one West coast team. There are several cities at the top of the list who are interested in competing for a coveted expansion team including, Nashville, Orlando, Portland, Sacramento, Montreal, and Raleigh. I decided to travel down to Raleigh, who I feel is the most realistic team in the East to land a program. I was curious to learn why they are fighting so hard for one.
“Why? Why do you think?” An insider with the city council barked at me. “We were like this nice, old southern antebellum town before these Belichicks arrived. Like, come on already. What’s up with that son being investigated for drugs? It’s a bad look. We need to revamp our image. We need something wholesome, like baseball.”
He’s right. Football is a slimy business and attracts a seedy lot. It doesn’t mean we don’t watch it and love a great run back, or overpaid QB getting pulverized, but you need to keep your head on a swivel, off the field, when the games really begin. Ole Miss had to build a wall around sorority row to keep Kiffin out. If the reputation of a university or college gets soiled, guaranteed a football coach was involved. Penn State is a great example of that. Remember assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky. There is some dark energy. Recently, along with UNC’s troubles, we have the most blatant act of misuse of an instant replay in college football history with Michigan’s fake win over Western Michigan. Everybody new the clock had run out. Even the broadcasters were vexed. “What in the hell…?”
The win loss columns of both teams should be changed, but they probably won’t be because the gambling payouts have already taken place.
Raleigh and central North Carolina have the Hurricanes which is good wholesome hockey. But that is not enough. It is only the winter season. Come summer and fall, the people need something they can watch on a Sunday afternoon after spending the morning in church without burning up.
The blight of the state of college football right now is as troubling as the Swine Flu of ‘09. What next, Mike Vrabel as Belichick’s Defensive Coordinator, and Puff Daddy the trainer in the tent?
Not to mention the millions of NIL dollars given to teenagers before ever seeing how they will really perform.
Mendoza, on the Raiders, seems like a nice guy, a good Christian, I cheer for him, but $57 million without seeing if he can perform on that stage was putting your mortgage-free house on black six and going for it all. Mendoza is on the bench and Cousins, who has never won a Super Bowl, is starting. Cousins is a good quarterback, but is his leadership what they need? Football is so upside down that anything goes. College, Pro, and even high school. Ten years from now, middle school kids will be bought for millions of dollars so that in ten years they might help Ohio State or Michigan win 11 hames and no playoff berth. The kid will be driving a f**king Ferrari to sophomore year of high school.