On The Beat- Thursday, April 9, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…

By Mr. Curmudgeon

As the Masters Tournament gets underway at Augusta National Golf Course, one professional, and runner up at the 1988 Masters, Mark Calcavecchia, will be watching from home after being escorted from the grounds. Calcavecchia broke one of the long-standing rules, no cellphones, and nobody is immune to exact and immediate punishment, not even Fred Ridley. And I applaud Augusta National for their high-quality rules, imposed with King Henry VIII ruthlessness… The early leader of the Masters right now Jose Maria Olaz(th)abal at -2. Thisnis his 37th Masters appearance. I would love to see him win again. But, every time the broadcasters pronounce his name I find myself cringing. It is so pretentious the way northern Spaniards change the comforting sound of the “z”, to the fingernails on a chalkboard (th). Just writing it gives me gooseflesh… Christina Koch has entered the annals of history as the woman who has flown the furthest and longest out into that weird vacuum John Milton in 1667 first called “space”… Cuba leader Miguel Diaz-Canel refuses to step down despite the fact that Cuba is, well, a complete dump… Tesla says it plans on having 10,000 robots working for the company by the end of the year, and 100,000 by the end of next year. Within three years they say they will be able to produce more than 10 million robots per year, eventually for purchase by individual families to work in the home and in other businesses… Not surprisingly, the man whose wife “fell” off a boat in the Bahamas was arrested… New island discovered near Antarctica. Empty the prisons and send all the criminals there… Bryson DeChambeau claims to be using club made with 3D printer. Was it a sand wedge?… Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce apparently not yet married. Save the date invitations went out, but they didn’t… The Yankees lose to the worst team in the MLB (The Sacramento/Las Vegas A’s) with only 1 hit. Do you all need me to dress for tomorrow’s game in Tampa? Email me a first class ticket and I want to wear jersey number 100… We present it, you decide…