On The Beat- Thursday, April 16, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…

LIV golf league looks to be on the verge of extinction as the Saudi PIF loses interest in the funding the outrageously expensive paychecks for guys that are non-competitive in the Master’s, or so we assume… LAX’s electric train system named, “Automated People Mover,” sounds like something Mao Zendong created to mow down anyone who disagreed with him… Man arrested near Trump golf course with a Joker mask and bullet proof vest. Obviously, prison is not a strong enough deterrent. And this goes for crime across the board. They get locked up with their kind, then when they get out, and they always get out, they have street cred… Cousins admit to a double-booking Air Bnb scam to steal $8.5 million. Yeah, that will work out… Alex Earle’s “Hot Mess” podcast dropped by Alex Cooper’s Unwell Network, 2 years ago, seemingly the trigger behind the ongoing feud that is lately spreading like a forest fire in the world of glitz and gossip ignited by, as you guessed, money, kronas, cheddar, shekels, ditrons, wampum, any more questions?… Justin Fairfax, just another politician embroiled in another sexual assault allegation, murders his wife and then kills himself. That poor woman was nearly free of that creep, having filed for divorce which, unsurprisingly, turned messy… David Charvet, former Baywatch meathead accused of hit and run on an innocent dog in Malibu. That is unforgivable and if true, Charvet should be donated to Kim Jung Un’s secret laboratories… In Fiji, cases of HIV/AIDS is on the rise, reaffirming our earlier suspicions that coitus is consistently linked to nearly as many problems in the world as money and radical piety. Sex fiends argue it’s the fault of intravenous drug addicts… The FAA is investigating pilots barking and meowing on air-traffic control frequency, and we are surprised Airplanes are falling out of the sky?… Tiger Woods, pleaded not guilty to the DUI charge, though if convicted, may serve up to 6 months in jail. If everyone had just left him alone with his women, it never would have come to drugs as an outlet and a stint in the big house… Gang members at a BBQ on Long Island, NY, get into it and the party erupts into a gunfight. Uh, get the children to safety and let them “work it out”… A University of Arkansas student named, Crew Kvern (19), was arrested for the rape, aggravated assault, and burglary of a woman, and he even threatened to break her ribs. Who says that? Anyone who is named “Crew” on their birth certificate would inevitably grow up to become a rapist or something like the head of the KKK… Yale University trying to place blame on anyone but themselves for soaring costs, shady admissions and anti-American political rhetoric. Maybe they can just blame Hersey; “It was the toxic fake chocolate that made everyone crazy!”… NFL reporter Chrissy Froyd fired for roasting Diana Russini and Mike Vrabel. Why? Give her the job back. It’s not her fault they are shady adulterers cavorting like mice in the shadows. They deserve every slight directed at them. The news is sketchy enough without their sordid love affair draining our intellectual batteries… Trump calls for answers into the missing 10 UFO/UAP scientists, saying, “I hope it’s random.” I feel like we are watching an episode of a “Scandal” and the real B613 is at work… You might hate Trump’s personality, but there’s no denying he understands money as people who work for tips are cashing in and refunds are a godsend. Don’t hate the player, hate the game… Former NBA player, Damon Jones, who nobody has ever heard of, expected to plead guilty to pleas guilty of wire fraud and money laundering conspiracies associated with cashing in on bets from prior injury information of NBA stars. What would his Garbage Pail Kid be?… Huge blank airship creates panic over California town. Beam them all up!… We present it, you decide…