On The Beat- Monday, April 13, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…

By Mr. Curmudgeon

CBS viewership at an all-time low. How low can you go?… In St. Petersburg, FL, a woman ordered a sandwich from Subway online. When she picked it up she realized it had peppers on it. She complained. That’s how you ordered it and we are not making a new one for free. She flew into a rage and trashed the sandwich shop before being arrested. She must really hate peppers… During an episode of Inside the NBA, Shaq offered to buy a couple an engagement ring if the man proposed to the woman on the spot. The couple didn’t immediately accept the offer. Maybe this marriage was not meant to be… Before going into space, Dr. Mae Jemison served with the Peace Corps in Liberia and Sierra Leone. After the horrors and deprivation she witnessed and potentially experienced there, space was a cake walk… Arkansas woman runs a half marathon wearing 55 t-shirts. Enough said… Scientists throw a cow carcass into the South China Sea, because scientists are weird, and 8 sleeper sharks appear from darkest depths because who doesn’t like tartare?… Scottie Scheffler matched an 84-year old record by going bogey-free over the weekend at Augusta, finished solo second, took home $2+ mil, tipped his cap and went to Waffle House. I’m just kidding. I don’t know where he went to eat dinner… Penthouse pet (Adva Lavie) - who is engaged to a man named Steven Cloobeck, a billionaire backer of disreputable U.S. Representative, Eric Swalwell - was once married to pornstar (Eden Ives) who made a dangerous turn in the couples Honda hitting a man on a motorcycle and killing him. Ives then served 20 days in jail. Hi kids, have you considered a career in public service?… Pete Davidson the man who has dated every “hot” woman in Hollywood became sober after getting a thorough dressing down during Zoom call with his mom… Lauren Sanchez wears revealing lacy bra to the White House and Jeff Bezos blushes… Howard Stern and his wife Beth’s former executive assistant, Leslie Kuhn is suing for $2.5 million in damages. Karma is a b**ch… Pink says the reports of her breakup with motor-cross racer husband, Carey Hart, is news to her… Andrew Shue and Marilee Fiebig appear to both me rebounding hard as both have exes that are walking down the aisle with new horizons. Shue and Fiebig tell friends they want to get married too. FOMO obviously contributes significantly to divorce statistics… Yankees hitting looked great tonight. Pitching, not so much. Angels pitching, atrocious. “Thhheeee Yankees wiiinn!”… South Hadley, MA is looking at a 50% tax hike. You reap what sow… Texas Rep. Tony Gonzales quits Congress after affair and lewd texting scandal simply can’t be explained away. Surprise, surprise. Are all Congress representatives sketchy, we ask ourselves?… U.S. citizen Sundas Naqvi claimed she was detained by ICE for two days, but in reality was getting facials in a hotel spa. The ethics of a future Congresswoman… 7-month old baby girl who was killed by a stray bullet in Brooklyn was over a stupid rap feud. I have a hat, and a bat, and a flat, and a mat, and a cat, and I’m fat, and got bit by a gnat, what’s up with that, on the stoop where I sat, and that is that. Word to your mother… Arson with 15 prior arrests busted for a molotov cocktail blaze on a store. Here we go again… Sergio Garcia, Robert MacIntyre and three other golfers suspended and fined by August for misbehavior. I’d also say a 10-year ban from eating Pimento sandwiches… Scientists say that in a billion years, Venus or Mars may collide with earth. My question is will the Yankees have won another World Series by then?… We present it, you decide…