After Being Decimated by the Yankees in Game 1, the Red Sox considering move to London’s West End
By Finn mac Cumhaill
Cam Schittler is a pitching phenom and Ben Rice a straight beast, both future retired jersey number’d plaques in Monument Park.
The Yankees humiliated the Boston Res Sox in Game 1 of the AL Wild Card Series at Yankee Stadium in a 9-0 classic slaughter-fest. The world hasn’t seen a relevant beating like this since Agincourt.
It was bloody and beautiful and the roar of the crowd could be heard all the way up the Hudson at West Point like ghosts of the revolution. It was God damn miraculous. Yankee fans across the globe were giddy and wired until the wee hours of the morning.
Filled with red shame, the Boston faithful said, “Enough. It is time. We are no longer willing to accept the conditions of failure and mediocrity.” The Red Sox in all their un-glory will no longer wear the yellow and blue of modern-day Boston, but instead, they will relocate to overseas to the city of London change their name to the West End Red Coats.
The oldest active ballpark in the MLB, Fenway Park, will be sold, along with the team to the crown of England who plans to turn it into a Benedict Arnold Museum. The Kentucky Blue grass field was all ready ripped up and “tossed into Griffin’s Wharf with the tea.”
That first game at Yankee Stadium has changed the way all MLB fans, coaches, and players are looking at these playoffs. Even the red-hot Padres are uneasy. Them, along with the Brewers and the Rays have never tasted the sweet nectar of a pennant win. They are desperate, but the Yankees know the feeling and they will gouge eyes to get it back.
Ben Rice looks like the boy next door, but he is a killer- a midnight blue-blooded assassin. And now the others are picking up any slack, Lombard, Jones, Wells, Volpe,
McMahon, Goldschmidt, even Caballero & Rosario, like the dead rabbits pouring out of the church to take down Bill the Butcher. Then you have Schittler, Fried, Rodon, Cole, Bednar, and even Blackburn & Headrick throwing savage darts and hand-grenades. Archers on top of the gates, picking off the weak. The Red Sox are doomed.