Welcome to fatherhood - one dad’s experience in the delivery room. Don’t pass out now.

By Greg Evans

JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee-- Many of us reach that pivotal point in our budding lives when we decide to settle down and start a family. Most guys will tell you that this part of the experience is quite fun. Babies are born every day; it is something that everyone is aware of, no big surprise.

Pregnant women have a glow to them. They discuss the event in-depth and plan everything out. But are guys ever really ready?

Yes, they are excited. They are thinking about tossing the baseball if it is a son and showing off the new shotgun to the first boyfriend if it is a daughter, but none of them is truly prepared for that moment when the apple of their eye breeches the womb and makes their messy, screaming entrance into the world.

My daughter was born in a hospital, thankfully, on a mild September day. We arrived at the hospital in the morning when my girlfriend had gone into labor.

They conducted tests, did blood work and the whole nine yards, and wheeled her up into a delivery room where she would remain until it was time.

She was given an epidural block to soothe the discomfort of the contractions. When I figured she was out of it, I left for provisions. I returned and entered the delivery room, and the nurse on duty pointed to a stool beside the bed.

“That is where you sit,” she said.

“Oh, do I stay?” I said, holding a greasy bag of burritos in one hand and a bag containing my four-pack of Guinness in the other.

The nurse just stared at me. My girlfriend then summoned a growl, “If you want to live.” I meekly placed the food and beer down on the floor.

I don’t know what I thought was supposed to happen, but I was not mentally prepared for this and wondered if I would be able to handle it on my own. I grabbed my phone and dialed my girlfriend’s best friend, Ashley.

“Hello?”

“Ashley it’s me, she’s having it. They are making me watch. I need you here.”

“No way,” she said.

“Please, I can’t do this by myself. I have burritos.”

“Will they even let me in?”

“Just walk in.”

“Ok. I will be right there,” she said and hung up.

This was some serious pressure to put on somebody. I knew I would be paying this debt off for a while.

Twenty or so minutes later, Ashley arrived. I told her that I had to stand here, and she could stand on the other side. “What do I do?” she said.

“In case I pass out, then she has your hand to crush,” I said.

I can’t recall how much time passed between when Ashley arrived, and the moment the baby started to come. But, once it began, it all happened very quickly.

The nurse called the doctor in. He glanced at me, looked at Ashley, shrugged, and assumed the position. This was it. My girlfriend began pushing, and I became wobbly. I braced myself by holding her left leg, and Ashley grabbed the right one. Moments later, a head with dark hair appeared. “Oh my God, how is it going to fit?” I remember thinking to myself.

“Honey, you are looking quite pale; maybe you should sit,” one of the nurses said. I shook my head no. I had to see how this was going to play out. Then the head popped out. I looked over at Ashely; her eyes were wide as saucers, and she mouthed, “I’m going to kill you.”

My adorable little daughter came out, along with a stew of birth stuff, and I was now a father. I walked over to Ashley and thanked her for being there. “Whatever happened to using a stork?” she said.

Originally published on June 2, 2022

The Plain Dealer / www.cleveland.com

https://www.cleveland.com/opinion/2022/06/welcome-to-fatherhood-one-dads-experience-in-the-delivery-room-greg-evans.html?outputType=amp