The Reflection
By Brett Whitmarsh
I often feel as though I have been extremely grateful in this life and absolutely escaped death on countless occasions. I realize everyone else has near death incidents as well, but I believe I’ve cheated the matrix more times than I can remember. They say cats have nine lives, well at times, I wonder if I'm related to the furry little creatures.
I recall one of the first times like it was yesterday. I was maybe 18 years old at the time, and full of natural testosterone along with driving confidence, because my dad who was the best driving instructor, had taught me how to drive stick shift. There I was at a traffic light, and preparing to make a left onto a busy highway. Let me paint the picture further. I'm in my tiny 2-door Toyota Corolla, revving the gas with the clutch in, as if I'm auditioning for The Fast and the Furious (1984 version). I'm getting ready to pop the clutch, beat the oncoming straight traffic and negotiate a left turn on 2 wheels. I had vivid tunnel vision like a thoroughbred at the Preakness, staring at the signal waiting for the "gunshot". Boom, and the light instantly changed from red to green for me. Whether it was an angel, God, or another form of divine intervention, something at the last second made me come off the gas and go back to brake. Within fractions of a second, an 18-wheeler tractor trailer appeared and blew the red light at 75mph, passing within inches of my vehicle. Right then, I knew I was given another chance at this life.
Time after time, I have encountered endless near death traffic situations and several actual car accidents where I could have been instantly snatched from earth and granted a key to the dark shadow realm. Additionally, I've driven 160mph in a twin turbo Nissan 300ZX, jumped off treacherous waterfalls, and was once knocked unconscious by literally "face planting" after jumping from a moving boat traveling 55mph on the water of Lake Mead in Las Vegas Nevada. On that occasion, I began sinking in slow motion, deeper and deeper into the cold. Suddenly, I felt as if I was separating from my sinking body. A voice then came over me and repeatedly said, "Wake Up" over and over. Seconds later, I was suddenly back in my body, swimming to the surface where I coughed up a gallon of “fresh” lake water.
Looking back at 31 years in the policing profession, there were so many encounters where I fought for my life, which honestly, could have easily gone the "other way" in the blink of an eye. Each time one of these situations arose, it surely made me wonder how I escaped death once again. I would analyze and learn from each incident, so that I could apply lessons learned to future situations. In a profession where you see hardened criminals committing absolutely horrific crimes, and taking innocent lives, you realize not all humans are built the same way, and absolutely don't appreciate or value human life. Those filled with pure evil are cut from a very different cloth. They don’t lose any sleep by taking actions that place others in harms way, or cause others to endure pain and suffering. Worse yet, they also occasionally play the grim reaper role, by taking your last breath, without an ounce of remorse. I am grateful beyond measure to understand the true value of this precious and fragile gift we call life.
In hindsight, I wonder if survival in life is a result of fate, destiny or simply based on decision after decision. Maybe our life is predetermined. Is it all in the cards and we are just players at the poker table? Can the cards be shuffled differently? Is there an automatic card shuffler like in Las Vegas casinos where they weren't making enough money before they had card shufflers? Maybe we have a set, predetermined number of heartbeats or breaths. This may be a reason why those who meditate and slow their heart-rate and breathing live longer! Those who exercise regularly also may be impacted by this theory. They exercise, build up their heart muscle which pumps more oxygen per beat and over time decreases the need to beat so many times per minute. This slowly resets their longevity clock since the number of beats in a day decreases!
Nowadays, I truly have a greater spiritual mindset and connection with gratitude, that I see the world differently than I used to. I value the few meditative moments I capture. I awake in the early morning with a determined desire to recall and uncover the dreams I experienced during the night and think to decode their meaning. I pause to marvel in the moment viewing a sunrise on the ocean horizon and am amazed each time in its pure beauty. I stare at the fading light of the day for the photo opportunity of a breathtaking sunset. The truly gifted days arrive when I am blessed enough to experience and capture a sunrise and sunset on the same day. I can’t say that is often, but when it does happen, it is unforgettable. Think about it, when was the last time you did that?