On The Beat- Tuesday, June 23, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…
By Mr. Curmudgeon
Lionel Messi made history when he broke the tie with Miroslav Klose for most FIFA World Cup goals all-time with his 17th, in Argentina’s defeat of Austria. Messi has 5 goals in two games. Take that, Gaius Appuleius Diocles… Dusty May leaves the Michigan Wolverines because they are little more than a stepping stool to a real head-coaching position. “Smell my cheese!” Ho! Ho!… An Arby’s manager is accused of giving a customer herpes by spitting in the food. She also lowered the customer’s IQ by 37 points just by talking… The Washington Bullets have the first pick in the upcoming NBA draft. Not even the nerds can get behind Washington calling themselves “Wizards”. The Hubris… Since February, 42 Youtube influencers looking for ghosts at an abandoned IBM complex in Somers, NY, have become ghosts. The spooks traded them for some B-rate journalists held by Kim Jong-ill… The Jains offer to give all their billions to the Cuban regime (because it’s always worked so well) and take jobs at McDonald’s for minimum wage. Bazinga!… US Pilot shot down by aliens says they were in a jellyfish-like formation… Talking heads still hysterical over some blowhard heckling Wyndham Clark. “Oh, Min!”… 40 people have drowned in canals and fountains during heat wave in France, so France has banned public drinking. Swimming lessons might be more effective… Haven’t decided yet who will get the chinless Andy Gump flop award for the 2026 World Cup. So far, all the games have been fun watches, with some terrific flops rivaling the father of the flop Jürgen Klinsmann… Lisa Hochstein, of RHOM, discusses her “legal hell” with ex. You get married before God, and divorced before the devil… The FIFA World Cup has been sensational so far. Exciting games, enthusiastic fans, and anyone that isn’t into it won’t be at my table at the Stork Club this weekend… Man jumps into the Cuyahoga River for an early morning swim and disappears. Bessie reportedly seen floating by Whiskey Island… Bill Gates admits to multiple affairs. Tiger Woods was a featherweight compared to this nerd’s stamina… Brawl at Miami Customs line leaves wigs flying and Carnival Cruise officials on the hot seat… Jennifer Aniston named, along with other overpaid, washed up Hollywood former A-listers (whose names Gen Zer’s don’t even know how to pronounce) in a voting scandal that leaves many, 349 million Americans with no questions… Rabbits with tentacles growing out of their heads seen in several states. Along with Men in Black suits… We present it. You decide…