On The Beat- Thursday, July 16, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…

By Mr. Curmudgeon

Flight instructor leaps to his death leaving his rattled student to land the plane by herself. She’s getting her Class A CDL instead… Collision Bend Brewery was packed. Temp outside 84 and sunny. I looked up to see a tiki hut floating by. I then looked down at my Lakeshore Lager. And bought a sixer on the way out… SpaceX stock dipped after Elon was a no show for an interview and murmurs could be heard. You try juggling 32 baby mamas and 87 children- give or take a handful… Former Walmart employee says she was fired after taking a religious pilgrimage. Which didn’t include clocking in… If AT&T raises their bill one more time, customers vow to round up the “executive decision-makers” and drop them into Pyongyang with Bibles duck-taped to their foreheads. Good luck getting out of that one… McGregor blows out knee on the first move of the fight. Match called. Is that it?… Prince Harry kicked in the gonads by Norwegian goat… In California, 11,000 people are accused of cheating on their DMV test. Newsom quickly registered them to be voters… Montezuma’s revenge traced to a Taco Bell using Taylor Farm lettuce. Thanks a lot Hernan Cortez… There is speculation MLB balls are juiced and they still can’t hit it as far as me. I mean Mickey Mantle… Smoke from Canada turns the skies over US yellow. Put the bongs down… Jimothy the mutant raccoon is Seattle’s own Frankenstein… Gary Trent lands $64 million deal. What? Imagine if he averaged 9 points per game?… Cigar lounges in Detroit are packed because the air outside is so thick with smoke… Philadelphia fraud conspiracy involves checks stolen from a mall. Who still buys things in malls with checks?… We present it. You decide…