On The Beat- Monday, June 11, 2026 - From Broadway to Biscayne Boulevard, from the Bird Streets to Euclid Avenue to Lark Street- Any Topic is Fair Game Until it is a Bore…
By Mr. Curmudgeon
The Knicks win! The Knicks win! Greatest comeback in NBA Finals history, maybe the greatest finish in NBA Finals history. The Knicks take Game 4!... Dolan cancels watch party outside MSG because degenerate fans have been so unruly. “I won’t even put up screens.” Good for you, Mr. Dolan. We also push for water cannons to keep the swine at bay (Indiana Pacers and San Antonio Spurs fans in disguise, causing trouble)… A little disappointed Madelyn Cline wasn’t courtside for Game 4. The Knicks should have offered up a pair of tickets; one for her and one for me… Idaho will start shooting prisoners in July, says the Idaho Statesman… Arizona school board member gives Nazi salute and is promptly sent to Idaho (ok I made that last part up. Himmler is still in Arizona)... Speaking of Arizona, the GOP primary clashes over paranormal activity. Everyone is a skeptic until they are zapped up… The Who’s Who on the White House UFC card, maybe we should get a Putin vs. Zelensky bare-knuckle match… Woman in Houston, TX, accused of stealing $460,000 for her company. She is promptly sent to Idaho (ok, I made that last part up again. I can’t help myself)... Florida looking to put a property tax constitutional amendment on the November ballot to significantly reduce property taxes by expanding homestead exemptions for primary residences. Guaranteed there will be a lot of auditing going down in the Northeast... Barstool Founder, El Presidente, Mr. Dave Portnoy does a pizza review at Garwood Pizza Co., in Garwood, NJ, predicts Knicks in 5 (I agree!!), and wearing a killer T-shirt too. The review of Garwood Pizza was good, “This is a bar pie, very good. 7.8”… RBC Canadian Open kicks off tomorrow. Great field of players. All the guys with something to play for are in it… Dolphins sign C. Aaron Brewer to a $52.5 million extension. Did this guy discover the cure for cancer or something?... Amazon continues to appall shoppers with their outrageous shipping charges. Bezos hopes to rival King John and Caligula in unchecked avarice… Residents in Ohio are pushing back against the proposed construction of massive data centers for artificial intelligence. These nerds need to be reeled in. Nobody wants your data centers creating an eyesore like Chinese housing projects… New study argues that even moderate consumption of alcohol is bad for you. Just like thirty-five years ago, they said Florida was going to be underwater, and aliens aren’t real… Tanmaxxing is exploding in popularity, and dermatologists applaud… Elizabeth Hurley wears a tiny bikini to her 61st birthday. I assume my invitation got lost in the mail… A 15-year old kid in Kansas, hunting for fossils, unearths an 85 million year-old sea predator. I imagine water-skiing back then was a real adrenaline rush… Charles Barkley challenges ESPN to fire him for his comments regarding Game 3 performer, Cardi B. I say we fire whoever approved her to be the headlining act… White Castle expands menu with a new Southwest Veggie Slider, and Anthony Bourdain’s ghost has reportedly been haunting the creators… South Carolina elected official is accused of pulling a gun during an election day confrontation, and the Refreshments song’s lyrics echo, “Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people”... Gisele Bundchen graces the cover of W magazine after nearly two decades. “So much has changed,” she said as if we all didn’t watch the roast of Tom Brady… Abby Lee Miller gets an ear job. That’s when you know you really made it… We present it, you decide.