Everything that Bothers You
By Greg Evans
Everything that bothers you, probably can’t hold a candle to all the crap that bothers me. I’m not saying my problems are more relevant than yours, I’m saying, I am ultra sensitive to things, that most people don’t seem to notice. I’m extremely hypersensitive to everything. I blame this idiosyncratic behavior to a head injury I sustained as a child while visiting Mexico with my mother and sisters. We were at a small hotel, swimming in a pool. At one point, I climbed up a latter and jumped out of a pool, slipped on the wet surface, my feet flew up, and my head bounced off the cement and tile pool floor like a pumpkin. I momentarily lost the ability to control my hands and fingers. The air smelled like Pompeii in 79 AD, there was a ringing, a real hollow distant ringing, and I didn’t just see stars, I saw galaxies, and comets streaking across the field of vision. After that everything changed. That’s when it all got weird.
Anyway. My stresses and grievances stem from, primarily, three things: inconsiderate people, greed, and the fancy modern technologies meant to “simplify” our lives. Garbage disposals, hate ‘em. Ice makers and water dispenser fridges, hate ‘em. $110 oil changes, hate ‘em. Loud motors, hate ‘em. $50 tolls to cross bridges (Queens, NY), hate ‘em. All the “natural” (toxic chemicals) flavors, and artificial (toxic chemicals) flavors that they add to food to make it as disgusting as possible, hate ‘em. All the 200 square foot condos that go up like Hoovervilles and sell for $400,000 a cubby hole, hate ‘em. The fact that greedy Walmart is expensive now, hate ‘em. Jeff Bezos and his robot army, hate ‘em. Greedy people, everywhere I turn, hate ‘em. Inconsiderate people on the roadways, hate ‘em (and this is only getting worse).
Greed is king. Greed rules the world. I’ve said that before and you all scoff at me because you’re brainwashed stools.
Oh yeh, Ads, Ads, endless bloody miserable ads, hate ‘em. I can’t take it. Streaming channels, hate ‘em. We pay outrageous monthly bills for TV to watch sports, but all I watch are Ads. I mentally block them out. Couldn’t tell you one Ad I’ve watched in the past year.
The other night I watched the New York Rangers vs. the Colorado Avalanche. The first period was 20 minutes of action, 25 minutes of Ads. Game
Started at 9 pm., first period concluded at 9:45 pm. Ads, hate ‘em. I was trying to watch “A relaxing tropical beach walk in Motu Tane, Bora Bora, French Polynesia” posted on youtube to help me fall asleep. There’s no relaxation. I can’t enjoy this beach walk because every 3 minutes are Ads. I think I watched for like 12 minutes and turned it off. Got tired of watching Ads. Youtube is as bad as Prime, Hulu, Peacock, Netflix, hate ‘em all. I said that already didn’t I? I’ll say it again. I’ll scream it from the top of the top of Omnicom Group’s HQ. Isn’t greed one of the Seven Deadly Sins? Just like the NCAA college football ranking system, the seven deadly sins are just a big scam. Whoever came up with it got it all wrong.
I almost forgot, the new blinding LED lights they put in cars now, hate ‘em. Let’s get a little more hostile, I think companies that produce them, companies that use them, engineers who design them, I hope none of those sleazy people involved get Christmas bonuses. I bet they are all descendants of those puritans who banned Christmas in the 1600s for being “too festive.”
The title of the piece is a bit misleading because if I listed everything that actually bothers me, this article would be 370,000 words. This is the abridged version. I loathe how corrupt industry leaders print the word “organic” and then charge a gold brick for 1/2 an ounce of anything, hate ‘em. The smug looks on their faces. I’ve googled the people behind the piracy in the food industry and the chemical companies that surreptitiously work with them. If people were honest, I wouldn’t despise them. But people aren’t honest. You can kid yourself if you believe that people have good intentions. If it wasn’t for law enforcement and rules you couldn’t leave your house without your neighbor trying to smother you with a plastic bag for your New Balances.
The reality is that I am the only person on the planet who is bothered by the things I have mentioned above. I guarantee you, there is not a single person who reads this that will agree with me. Therefore, I wrote this to vent. It is my therapy. It is how I find comfort in such a greedy, violent, corrupt, vicious, dishonest world. Oh yeah; “Happy Thanksgiving”, said the Wampanoag before the pilgrims stole their land and shipped them off to South Dakota to freeze to death.