Dear Santa, All I Want for Christmas is the Palazzo Riggi
By Greg Evans
It’s almost Christmas time, lights and mistletoe, Christmas cheer and homes up for sale on Zillow. I get alerts sometimes, or maybe I am just trolling sub-consciously for new listings after a bottle of Chianti, just because, and then there it was, glowing on my screen like Rudolph’s Red Nose. A fresh listing, 637 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, New York. Wait a minute.
I know that address. Roman fountain. 25,000 square feet of elegance. Marble floor. Marble columns. A duel, sort of bifurcated marble staircase. Frescos and murals. Chandeliers (who doesn’t love chandeliers?). A bowling alley. A movie theater. A pool with high stone walls and lush vegetation surrounding it, giving it the ambience of an ancient villa. I can see myself sitting in the smoking room reading Melville and Hemingway, sipping a Suavecito or a Burolo. The place looks like a castle. This place I speak of, is The Palazzo Riggi.
Maybe I was dreaming when I saw it listed on Zillow. Maybe I was just wishing it was, not that I could do anything about it, but I had been sipping Suavecito Anejo tequila the night before, and maybe I was still out of my mind. By the way, it the single best spirit that has ever touched this man’s tongue. I tried to go back and find that listing again, a few days later, gone. No way. That quickly?
This stately home, built by the Riggi family in 2003, is one of the most beautiful structures, inside and out, in the entire United States, in my opinion.
It looks like a place royalty might reside. I’m ok with that. On Christmas, every room would be decorated with its own tree. The exterior would be a wonderland. In fact, I’d decorate the entire street.
A couple of years ago, that house sold for a little over $7 million. Now, it’s $24.9 million? That’s a major league jump. If I had a few billion that would be my home. I’d buy it tomorrow, fully furnished. My only asks, remove all garbage disposals from all sinks and unhook all water from all refrigerators. In fact, remove any refrigerator with an ice maker and water valve and replace with an old-fashioned fridge with ice trays.
It would be just me and Em and 25,000 square feet to fill up with Christmas trees and poinsettias, giant bowls of chocolates, and mistletoe and holly, icicle lights, stars of Bethlehem, sleds and mechanical reindeer, beer, tequila, wine, bourbon, hot chocolate and egg nog dispensers. There would be a fire raging in every fireplace, graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate squares and cigars available at each sitting area.
Just thinking about garbage disposals clogging, is giving me anxiety.
There would be candy canes everywhere and bookshelves in every room. I’d have stables for my race horses and they’d race every summer at the track to grand applause, gaudy costumes, and fat winnings. I’d also have a stable of reindeer who I’d take to the track for winter snow races. There’d be Christmas lights and strong egg nog, dresses made of diamonds and Christmas lights for the pretty ladies, plump down sport jackets and five-foot high top hats for the gents. I’d have my own custom sleigh built to my liking, and on thick snowy days I’d have my reindeer drive me around the neighborhood. My reindeer would also take me to Hooter’s in Colonie for fried pickles, Adriano’s or DeFazio’s for pizza, and over to Academy Park for the tree lighting. That is what I thought of when I saw that listing.